Different types of drivers
Sunday, September 27, 2009 5 Comments »A brief compilation of different types of drivers of Indian roads (in no particular order of anything):
1. The snakers: Primarily characterized by their ability to snake around on our roads in the most efficient manner. The snakers get their pleasure from criss-crossing peacefully driving noble folks and transcending them into a state of sudden panic. Next time you get criss-crossed, there is a high probability that its a snaker (there could be others too as described below). When snakers get involved in accidents, its usually with other snakers... due to both trying to cross each other at the same time.
2. The honksters: Honksters are the ones who have an obsessive compulsion towards pressing horns in their vehicles. This makes them the most annoying on city roads. Honksters usually use the horn as an indicator for everything. Over time, they have also evolved different types of conventions in the pattern of sounds they create. Like fingerprints differentiate one human from another, the sound patterns created by honksters differentiate them from each other. Honksters are usually the most active at traffic signals. When the traffic signal turns green, all honksters engage in simultaneous orgy of honking, apparently to indicate the drivers in front to move forward, which in fact, is just an excuse to indulge their habit.
3. The road racers: Most road racers are aged between 15 and 30. They are avid fans of Formula 1 and racing video games. They get their kicks by such things as: driving at absurdly high speeds irrespective of the condition of the roads, disengaging the silencers of their bikes or cars, painting the exterior of their vehicles in extravagant fashions. Oh yes, the 2-wheel road racers are fond of wheelies. The most adept among them usually do wheelies with a pillon rider at their back. They are also averse to wearing helmets.
4. The Autorickshawwallas: An Autorickshawwalla is the highest embodiment of an Indian driver. They usually drive 3-wheeled vehicles and wear an uniform. That clearly makes them outstanding. An autorickshawwalla may simultaneously contain within him - a snaker, an honkster and a road racer or at least be capable of switching from one form to another when desired. Not having this quality disqualifies a driver from being considered as part of this elite category.
If you think you do not belong to any of the above categories then ask yourself if you are truly "driving Indian roads"?
1. The snakers: Primarily characterized by their ability to snake around on our roads in the most efficient manner. The snakers get their pleasure from criss-crossing peacefully driving noble folks and transcending them into a state of sudden panic. Next time you get criss-crossed, there is a high probability that its a snaker (there could be others too as described below). When snakers get involved in accidents, its usually with other snakers... due to both trying to cross each other at the same time.
2. The honksters: Honksters are the ones who have an obsessive compulsion towards pressing horns in their vehicles. This makes them the most annoying on city roads. Honksters usually use the horn as an indicator for everything. Over time, they have also evolved different types of conventions in the pattern of sounds they create. Like fingerprints differentiate one human from another, the sound patterns created by honksters differentiate them from each other. Honksters are usually the most active at traffic signals. When the traffic signal turns green, all honksters engage in simultaneous orgy of honking, apparently to indicate the drivers in front to move forward, which in fact, is just an excuse to indulge their habit.
3. The road racers: Most road racers are aged between 15 and 30. They are avid fans of Formula 1 and racing video games. They get their kicks by such things as: driving at absurdly high speeds irrespective of the condition of the roads, disengaging the silencers of their bikes or cars, painting the exterior of their vehicles in extravagant fashions. Oh yes, the 2-wheel road racers are fond of wheelies. The most adept among them usually do wheelies with a pillon rider at their back. They are also averse to wearing helmets.
4. The Autorickshawwallas: An Autorickshawwalla is the highest embodiment of an Indian driver. They usually drive 3-wheeled vehicles and wear an uniform. That clearly makes them outstanding. An autorickshawwalla may simultaneously contain within him - a snaker, an honkster and a road racer or at least be capable of switching from one form to another when desired. Not having this quality disqualifies a driver from being considered as part of this elite category.
If you think you do not belong to any of the above categories then ask yourself if you are truly "driving Indian roads"?
Posts
