Life as Chess simul

Sunday, July 11, 2010 4 Comments »
The below post was written a long time ago but I never posted it knowing that I had just blabbered something silly. But I don't know; I don't care any more (16 Apr 2011).

Life seems to be like a
Chess simul where a single chess player (usually a grand master) plays against a large number of other players simultaneously. In real life, however, you may not be the grand master, but you have to play anyway, for there is no escape.

The opponents you face are not just people, but also a large number of other abstract entities - which may include such personal traits as anger, courage, happiness, honesty, selfishness and much more ill-defined ones such as managing-others'-perception-of-you. Yes, you are in a game of Chess with all of them in a Chess simul. Can you imagine that? You might ask - "Why should I make happiness my opponent?". My answer is - "Do you want to be defeated in life by Happiness, whatever that means? No? So you play along and down the line of opponents, you do play against Unhappiness as well because you do not want to be defeated by unhappiness either, again, whatever that means".

Throughout your life, you keep moving across the boards making one move after another against your opponents with largely one ultimate motive every single time - to win, to be successful, or at the very least - not to lose.

Nakshatra

Wednesday, January 20, 2010 0 Comments »
I created another blog to write about Nakshatra - my Chess engine, as well as some general stuff about Chess engines, Chess programming and more. Check it out here. Feel free to subscribe to RSS feeds and do comment :-)

New Year Resolutions

Saturday, January 02, 2010 2 Comments »
I've had resolutions in my life before. Lots of them in fact. However, I never had any "new year resolution". I never thought of aligning my resolutions with the beginning of a new calendar year. I created resolutions as and when I felt necessary and worked towards them right away. In most cases, my resolutions did not materialize as I simply quit working on them after some time or sometimes even forgot what those resolutions were! But now I want to experiment with how a new year resolution would work out. With the foolish hope that a "new year resolution" would turn out better than my stand-alone ones, here I write up my list:

1. 2.5 years of working in a Software Company + irregular gymming + some great free food in office + awesome home food has truly gotten into me, literally. My belly has bulged with quite a few layers of fat deposition. In the beginning of 2009, this was hardly visible but now it is more pronounced... to the extent that some friends have teased me about it. Back in College, I would have laughed at the proposition of me getting fat but now, well, its there for the world to see :-(. So, in 2010, I resolve to work out "regularly" at the gym with a single-minded focus on getting back into shape and become the cynosure in the eyes of hot girls yet again ;-).

2. I have mostly been a night-person throughout my life. I am usually up late into the night and wake up late in the morning. On weekdays when I have to leave for office, I get up between 7 and 7:30 AM. On weekends, its usually 9+ these days. However, I have always felt really nice whenever I managed to get up early (like 5-6 AM) in the morning. And in 2009, I had resolved many times in my mind to change my habit and do a "early to bed, early to rise" thing. But due to lack of determination, this has never lasted for more than 1-2 days on multiple occasions :-(. But its said that failure is not achieved until you stop trying. So in 2010, I again (for the n'th time) resolve to become an early-riser. In addition to that, I should start going for a jog/run in the nearby park after getting up (this again will fuel my resolution #1). I really gotta stop myself from switching off my alarm first. I probably have to buy one of these [Alarm clock that runs away!].

3. I resolve to practice a more balanced diet. South Indians just relish rice dishes and rice being a high-carb food directly leads to high blood pressure, obesity and diabetes in the 40s and 50s of our lives. This is one thing where I can claim I have planned 20 years ahead (for an otherwise visionless person). In 2010 I plan to have a better and balanced diet with reduced intake of rice :-).

4. Meditation and Yoga: In 2010, I have this desire to begin practicing meditation and yoga. This is a pretty lofty resolution because this is something I have been wanting to do for ages now and never got around to even begin! I thought of not mentioning this on my resolution list but then I hope I might get motivated if I at least write it down some place!

5. Read more books: In 2009, I did not read as many books as I liked to. So in 2010 I wish to read books of all different types and genre and expand the horizons of my knowledge and at the same time enjoy doing it.

6. Presence of mind and Clarity of thought: Sometimes I feel that software engineers dumb down over a period of time. Even the street-smart college kids who enter software profession tend to become absent minded and lose clarity in thinking. I, for one, feel I have become substantially more absent minded than I was a year or so ago. This process has to be reversed in 2010.

7. Be bolder and stop procrastinating: There are a thousand things I don't do because I am not bold enough or do not feel its worth taking the risk (even when, perhaps, it is worth taking the risk). There are another thousand things that I haven't done because I procrastinated long enough. 2010 it is, when I will change myself and become bolder, smarter and less-procrastinating.

8. Connect and make useful relationships: This is something I am probably really bad at - making new friends and develop existing relationships (professional or otherwise) in a meaningful manner. I am not yet sure if there is some personality disorder in me which is causing me to be too introvertish but I think not. I have developed a lot of useful relationships in 2009 but sometimes I feel its not enough. These relations are required in a lot of different aspects of life. I sort of realized how important professional relationships can be, in 2009 and I hope to do a better job in 2010.

9. When I was interviewed by Thoughtworks back in 2006, I was asked a question by one of the interviewers: "Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?" and I gave such a crappy answer (which I dare not mention here to save some embrassment) that it became the single most important reason for not being offered the job (the interviewer almost said so) despite what I would claim to be very good technical interviews. Now 4 years later, I have finally decided to find out what I really want to be doing 5 years from now. This is going to be a herculean task for sure but hell, I'm gonna make it my resolution anyway.

10. Do something wonderful/creative: One of the biggest turn-ons for me is to create something new. In 2009 there were a couple of things that I did outside of my work (like Nakshatra - the chess engine, which I will talk about in a separate blog post later on) which sort of soothed my creative cravings. I wish to do something even bigger and really wonderful in 2010.

11. Going offline: I have sort of become addicted to my virtual online persona. I stay on gmail chat most of the day (even on weekends when I am at home) and browse Orkut, Facebook, Twitter, Reader plenty of times. This is probably utterly out of boredom and part of the "procrastination" I mentioned earlier. At the end of the day, no productive work is done and there is a feeling of guilt because of wasting time on useless things. For instance, I have played about 2500 chess matches in 2009 :-O. Can you believe it? Its such a useless thing to do. Probably I was too bored in 2009 to have done this. Its too bad I should say that considering that I work for the best Software company out there! Although I improved my ratings, it wasn't an achievement considering the amount of time I might have spent on playing these games! I have to drastically reduce my chess addiction and also cut down totally on Orkut, facebook and such useless stuff. I could spend this time working on my other resolutions or just talking to my parents and relatives which I do less because I would be online and they wouldn't be.

12. Not be an insensitive clod: Lately I feel I have become more insensitive to people around me. I hurl jokeful insults just for the kick of it, that make people feel bad sometimes (I get bashed up too for this, sometimes, but thats besides the point). I gotta really be more sensitive to people around me and their needs.


Ok the above 12 are the resolutions that I can think of at the moment and by no means complete. After having written them once, I went over them and realized how much of a personality transformation I expect out of myself in 2010. Will it be possible? Only time has to tell. Probably some of the goals I have set for myself are not worth pursuing (so that I don't lose some of my original qualities) and probably I haven't thought of some other important goals that could be beneficial. Most of these resolutions have passed through my mind often in the past but I never wrote them down anywhere. In that sense, these are a sum total of all that I wanted to do but never got around to doing them. I will be happy if I can achieve a majority of them if not all. Wish me good luck!